Learning to Move Through the World

Arriving in Barcelona yesterday morning was bittersweet.  It meant the end of our cruise, but we were back in a city we all thoroughly enjoyed.  Ellanora mentioned a bit of sadness as we crossed the gangway for the last time.  I’d like to think the sadness we all felt was as much from the end of the adventure, as the end of the togetherness we all experienced on this journey.

We gathered our luggage, and jumped into a taxi, arriving back at our original hotel around 10 AM.  Getting up, dressed, out of our room and fed meant an early morning, so we rested a bit, then walked to one of our favorite bakeries just around the corner, for a cappuccino and snack before heading to Basilica de la Sagrada Familia.  We’ve grown accustomed to visiting cathedrals on this journey, and this is a must-see if you’re ever in Barcelona.  Construction began 139 years ago & they expect to complete it in 2026.  When flying into Barcelona, its presence, with massive towers, dominates the skyline.  

We spent almost 30 minutes marveling at the architecture, the stained glass windows, and listening to a men’s choir perform a cappella, before heading to the elevator for our scheduled visit to the top of one of the towers.  The tower has room for about 6 people at a time.  As soon as we stepped out, my legs got weak, and I got dizzy.  I’m not a big fan of heights (ok, I struggle to breath when I’m in a precariously high spot), and even with the safety of the tower walls, looking out was a struggle.  They don’t tell you beforehand that the elevator is a one-way trip, and to get down, you have to cross a small footbridge and then use the spiral staircase down the adjoining tower (there are two panic buttons for people like me, who may need help completing the descent!). Ellanora had one hand on the handrail, and a phone videoing the descent in her other hand.  I had two hands on the handrail, and had full internal conversations about the uselessness of those panic buttons, because I’d still have to get down!  I managed without hitting a button, but was pale and woozy (and incredibly grateful) as my feet hit the ground.  

We then, unexpectedly spent another 30 minutes interpreting the stone carvings sculpted into the outside walls.  On one side was the story of the Nativity, in full detail.  The other side of the building was the Passion of Christ.  The longer we stood there, the more details each of us would find and point out.  It’s no wonder it has taken 139 years.

We left the Basilica and wandered the streets a bit before finding an open air market where we each grabbed something for lunch from different vendors.  We then stopped at the hotel where Ellanora stayed to draw while the boys and I went looking for gelato and some last minute souvenirs.  

We found a hole-in-the-wall spot for a late dinner last night, that didn’t disappoint, then, in true Spanish fashion, joined the crowds for a late-night stroll.  We landed at more gelato for Grayson and Ellanora, and hot chocolate & churros for Joel and me.  While strolling, we found a playground the created more belly laughter than I thought possible.  Grayson said he couldn’t ever remember hearing Joel laugh that hard.

We slept a few hours before the alarm went off at 3:30 AM, and we were bleary eyed as we waited for our 6:50 flight to Frankfurt, then Seattle.

Many of you have reached out with generous comments about these blogs, for which I am thankful.  There is so much to recall as we look back on our travels, that this blog will serve as a reminder for us

And this blog will serve as a reminder for each of us.  In truth, it has also been an opportunity for my own process.  I mentioned in the first blog that writing is for me, a therapeutic act.  This has certainly been the case on this journey, thank you for coming along.  

While the intention of this trip was to create new space as a family of four, Jill has been woven into every moment, and I’ve shared many of those moments with you. Many times through the cancer journey, Jill and I would remind each other that so many of you were part of our journey, and we needed to share.  I guess this is an extension of that “sharing,” from me.  

I will continue to stumble my way through learning to be a single parent as we move into the “normal,” and her wisdom and memory will continue to be a rock for me.  I miss her deeply, and wish she had been here with us, AND I am so filled with peace as I experienced the joy she wanted for us living these last two weeks with my children.

We arrived in France to rain, and while that didn’t stop us, it was clear that we were slowing down and not in a rush to get into the city. Our attention is beginning to shift to plans for the week ahead. Work, a Lacrosse board meeting, basketball, school work, the upcoming Lacrosse tournament in Seattle this weekend, opening of ski season this Friday (Joel made sure his running start schedule would have no school on Fridays in order to ski, and he plans to ski this Friday with his friends). I have a tendency to shift gears when I can see the proverbial barn, and my attention gets laser focused on the “agenda.” Jill used to challenge me to stay present…that’s hard! There is certainly something normal about transitioning from vacation back into life, however, and we all talked yesterday while walking down a street in Marseille, France, about our favorite part of this journey. It was quickly agreed that we’ll need some time at home to reflect…though the F.C. Barcelona match was murmured by each of us, and we continue to chant “¡Barça! ¡Barça! ¡Barça!” at random moments.

Our taxi driver dropped us off at Vieux Port where we made our way to a small cafe’ for espresso, crepes with Nutella for Joel and Ellanora, while Grayson and I enjoyed pain au chocolate. As the rain became more steady, we pulled out our umbrellas and explored the fresh fish & produce market, before walking through the Christmas market. There were street performers playing stringed instruments, the sound of people buying and selling in French, and the smell of fresh fish mixed with baked breads.

After making some purchases, we took a cab to Notre-Dame de la Garde at the top of the city. The ability to see down into the city from up high has been a highlight in each place we have visited, and this viewpoint can quickly transport you into a fantasy of life in a French town. We did a small amount of exploring, but there was a mass occurring, so we couldn’t do too much inside the church (it was Sunday morning). We entered a part of the church with candles lit, and Joel asked if we could light one for Jill. It was an emotional moment for me, and I’m glad he asked. He placed a candle in an open space and lit it for his mom.

We left the church and walked down steep and narrow roads to an old military tank that was leftover from WWII and now sitting as a memorial (significant portions of Marseille were leveled during the war). We then proceeded through the neighborhood as Ellanora serenaded us with the opening song in Beauty and the Beast (“Bonjour! Bonjour…there goes the baker with his tray like always…”). After lunch, we did some souvenir shopping, then headed back to the ship shortly before our “all aboard” deadline. Dinner was filled with the usual laughter and shadow boxing games between the four of us (it’s a fun, silent game that draws curious stares from Europeans, and has become a staple at the table). After the show, there was an Abba party, and I almost didn’t recognize my daughter! “Dancing Queen,” “Mama Mia,” “Money Money Money,” “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” She loves the show “Mama Mia” so she knew every song…I can’t deny that I, too, was singing loudly when I knew the lyrics while we all danced along. And THAT led into Ellanora swing dancing with me on another dance floor later in the evening. It took all week, but she finally said yes!

This amount of time together has been incredible, and I’m pretty impressed with the kids for their ability to work through their frustrations with each other after 12 days, and still enjoy being together. I can tell that I’m ready for some alone time, as I think we all are. It has felt like a race these months following Jill’s passing, and this trip had unintentionally taken the form of a marker for me as we planned this journey, like the end of some transition with some feelings of trepidation as I look ahead at the steady eb and flow of life without her. Maybe she was right about staying in the present, and as much as I am fighting the silence of the winter ahead, without big plans and busyness, maybe it’s time to re-learn to stay present and quiet.

“This is definitely my favorite spot in Italy” we heard Grayson say for the third time. Yes, it was certainly a great spot, & though I’m not quite on the same page, I can understand why. In Tunisia we were quickly among the locals, but there were throngs of them, and we were in the crowded market. Barcelona, Sicily and Rome were incredible, and filled with both locals, tourists, and all the sounds and smells of any city. Busy. Stepping onto the docks in Savona was peaceful, and within 10 minutes, after strolling through the small marina, we were walking across a grassy space, alone, when Grayson first mentioned how nice it was to be away from people. Grayson is usually the first in our family to feel and express what the rest of us may not yet have words or even full comprehension of. Since he was little, he has been able to sense both his own feelings and emotions, along with the feelings and emotions of others. It’s a beautiful gift, and his mom did an excellent job encouraging him to embrace when the rest of us may still be stuck in our heads…I love it!

I had never heard of Savona before choosing the itinerary we chose. It seemed almost like a throwaway stop in the midst of our travels to the more familiar and exotic ports. As Grayson made clear, my lack of understanding about this place was soon corrected. Our morning began slowly. With no pre-arranged itinerary, we were free to eat breakfast, then step off the ship at our own pace. Savona is nearly the same latitude as Seattle, and, as with the rest of our trip, we were dressed for the chill of fall (except Grayson, who was determined to be comfortable in the sunshine). While the shadows were chilly, any chance we got to walk in the sun was welcomed, and we soon found ourselves moving at a slow pace as we made our way to Fortezza del Priamar (an ancient fortress by the sea). It was another chance to wander through ruins and play a bit.

After the fortress, we made our way to the beach, where we ran from waves, skipped rocks, and dared Grayson to go for a swim (he did not accept our dares), and then we wandered into the older portion of Savona to seek out a lunch spot. Ellanora was hopeful for pizza, and we found a spot on the corner of Piazza Goffredo Mameli. We were the only tourists in the place, and we all enjoyed pizza before heading to a Gelateria for more Gelato (of course!). The walk back to the ship took us by bakeries, meat & cheese shops, produce shops, and a spot Ellanora stopped to buy a scarf for her hair.

The afternoon was pretty quiet, as we relaxed on board the ship. Ellanora and I spent some time in the pool (indoor), and after dinner the boys convinced Ellanora and I to join them for a dance party on one of the dance floors.

We’ve just arrived in Marseille, France for another day on our own schedule. Tomorrow we’ll be back in Barcelona (which we are all excited about), before flying home on Tuesday.

The sounds of the restaurant were all around us. Plates clanking, forks and knives in use, the murmer of conversations. The richness of the food, the smell of the wine and the smiles from the waiter as he referred to Ellanora as bambina, created a nearly perfect moment for us. We were tucked away in a small restaurant in Rome, enjoying lunch complete with fresh bruschetta, salamis, cheeses, bread, wine and pasta. Ellanora had penne with tomato-basil sauce, while the boys and I enjoyed carbonara, and I was quickly filled with nostalgia and began telling the story of the meal I shared with Jill’s parents when I was eating carbonara on the night I asked for her hand in marriage, and of how I met Jill’s friend later that evening to buy the ring that Jill had secretly been admiring.

Yesterday morning began early as we needed to be fed and ready for the day by 8:15. After boarding the bus, we were soon headed down the coast for the hour-long drive into the heart of the Eternal City. It wasn’t long after our arrival into the city of Rome that we were all in awe of the history of the space we were in. The spot where the Apostle Paul is buried, the spot where Peter is buried, the palace ruins of the Caesars, the bridges, the walls, the cathedrals, the Colosseum. The history of this ancient city goes on and on, from tragedy to beauty, and words do not do it justice.

We were soon in St. Peter’s square, marveling at St. Peter’s Basilica. Before moving into the Vatican City we stopped for some espresso, hot chocolate and snacks (I had to use the bathroom, which included a 1 Euro visa charge before I could enter (who knew!?!)).

Passing through the walls of the Vatican, we made our way through security, and were soon inside the home of Pope Leo XIV. The art and the statues were all incredible, some dating back to the time before Christ, but it was the Sistine Chapel, and the art of Michelangelo that left us all speechless. His painstaking efforts, the tragedy he endured, and his depiction of the history of man and God is beautiful. We stood in silence, necks craned to try and capture even a small bit of the vastness of his works in that place.

We soon wrapped up our time in the Vatican and made our way back onto the streets of Rome and to a small restaurant where we had that truly Italian lunch. The boys and I all had wine with the meal, which Joel couldn’t enjoy, and Grayson’s enjoyment of the glass of wine soon made him flushed and sleepy.

Later in the evening, Ellanora enjoyed lamb for dinner (I love that they are trying new foods!), and then, in her new dress from Sicily, she and I went to the theater and watched as a couple danced and did acrobatics on ropes and silks hanging from the ceiling (Ellanora is in a silks class each week at home, so this performance was a great surprise for us both).

It is Saturday morning, and I have just watched the sunrise over the Mediterranean from our balcony, as we arrived in the port of Savona, Italy. After the last few days, we are tired, and I suspect we’ll spend a couple hours in Savona before a slower day reading and relaxing on the ship. As I’ve continued to express, this country is beautiful, but it’s our journey I cannot get enough of. We are redefining what it looks like to be a family, what it means to rely on each other, and what it means to grieve. There have been many moments when we talk about wishing Jill was experiencing things with us, and how much she would love something, and these moments are typically filled with laughter. There are moments of nostalgia and a happy memory that is tinged with sadness, such as the story I shared with the kids over carbonara, and there are the tearful moments, when the deep loss is present and can feel dark and hopeless. In the midst of it all, the history, the beauty, the grief, and the laughter, I am filled with gratitude.

We had hardly been back on the ship a few moments when Joel told me that he was definitely coming back. I asked if he meant Sicily? To which he replied “ITALY!” There’s something intoxicating about being in this place. The streets, the music, the people. At lunch, Grayson said “man, Italians are put together, look at their style!” (to which I agreed, and asked him if he’d seen any Italians in Jorts…not my favorite look on my son!). One of my closest friends is Italian, and we all agreed that she would fit right in!

Thanksgiving morning, we stepped onto the dock and began our walk to the Ballero’ Market. It was about a 30 minute walk from the pier, but a pretty easy walk as we took in all the sights and sounds of Palermo, Sicily.

I do have to say, that my idea of an “easy” walk, isn’t necessarily shared by everyone in our family. My answer: “it’s just a bit farther” is no longer acceptable, and “how many minutes?” is the newest question I am asked.

Arriving at Ballero’ Market, the colors and smells of fresh fruit, seafood, and cooking spices, filled our senses, with people all around yelling in Italian. Not what I envisioned when we set out for this street market, but definitely worth the visit. It was like Pike’s Place but under popups, without tourists (except us, of course)!

After such a long stroll to the market, we found a small Italian Cafe with cannoli, pastries and espresso, so we of course had to stop and try some. It was all incredible…though my attempt at ordering a cafe’ latte without speaking any Italian, awarded me both a latte and an espresso (Grayson decided to drink the espresso).

As soon as we finished, we were back out on the street and headed toward the Palermo Cathedral, but were drawn a bit off-track by the sound of a man singing opera in a plaza, which then drew us into an ancient church. Ellanora was quite confused by the height of the arm rests, and I had no answers as to why they were the way they were.

We soon found the cathedral we had been looking for, which included a trip to the crypt under the church and the roof, with incredible views of Sicily.

Following our cathedral exploration, we wandered down a street and lunch was Sicilian pizza followed by dress shopping (she looks beautiful in her dress)!

Making our way back to the ship, we were taken with Sicily, the Italians, the food, and the city streets…though Ellanora was a bit disappointed when my negotiation skills were put to the test and a man wanted 60 Euros for a one mile trip back to the Port in a horse-drawn carriage. I held firm at $40 U.S., and we walked. I guess we’ll have to wait for Leavenworth this Christmas to take that carriage ride.

Once back on the ship, we dressed and made our way to the Japanese steakhouse on board for a special Thanksgiving dinner, though the kids all noted a slight bit of sadness in the lack of football, turkey, and family. We all agreed that we want to stay close to home and family for Christmas.

Wrapping up Thanksgiving, we made a toast to Jill. Watching these three kids interact with each other, love each other, laugh together and play together, fills me completely. Yes, there have been arguments, silence, frustration and tears, but these moments have paled in comparison to the rest. As a parent, I love having kids who love each other (and like being with me!). I’m thankful this Thanksgiving for my wife, who gave me these beautiful people, and for each of my kids, who inspire me to be more.

Happy Thanksgiving! It’s 8:30 Thanksgiving morning here in Sicily, Italy and my kids are just waking up. Jill lived here, and she loved it. Grayson has mentioned a few times how good it will be to spend the day in a place that his mom loved. I wasn’t sure how we would do on this first holiday without her. Looking out at the ocean, the mountains, and the red roofed, tan stucco buildings makes me sadder, yet I can picture her on these streets, a coffee in hand and a smile on her face. We’ll be ok today, and my thankfulness for her, my kids, and so many of you runs deeper today.

Yesterday was full of sights, sounds and smells we are certainly unaccustomed to! After waking to alarm clocks and sleepily moving through a quick breakfast, we made our way to customs and climbed on a bus mixed with English and German speakers for a day in Tunis with our English/German speaking guide. Tunisia is 99% Muslim, though the government is secular. I wasn’t sure how it would feel to be in a place with women in hijabs and full body coverings, and I soon realized there were plenty of local women without any head coverings, and the country is led by a woman Prime Minister. Tunis is apparently the only Arab country in the Arab world that has outlawed polygamy, and requires all girls to be educated. As the father of an incredible daughter (and the husband of a beautifully strong woman), my awareness around the equality of women is heightened. This journey is yet another opportunity for me to walk through the world continuing to learn (and teach my kids) the delicate balance of respect for all people and cultures while not compromising.

Our first stop was the medina in Tunis, and we were soon bumping into people as we made our way through the narrow market while the men sat at their booths, or sat with friends, smoking hookahs. The bubbling sounds of the hookahs being smoked by men in their chechia hats was fascinating, while the smell of tobacco smoke, spices and perfumes was strong, and I was soon haggling over a small handmade Tunisian rug we wanted for wall art in our home…Grayson wasn’t impressed with my haggling skills, and I’m sure we spent too much. Between the rug and the gifts for friends, we were ready to pay, and I made my way to the counter, quickly choking on the total, which came to 578,000 Dinar. Imagine the scrambling I was doing, unable to communicate while hoping that the conversion of 578,000 was what I had negotiated in Euros (it was, but it took some time before my panic subsided after the credit card transaction was complete)!

The history of this place soon put our fascination with the castle in Spain dating to 1073 into perspective. The medina dated back to the 7th century…that’s a hard one to fully appreciate!

I found a beautiful blue door I wanted a picture of (though the sun made it nearly impossible for us). When Jill and I were first married, we had pictures of doors around the world through our house. She loved beautiful doors and the surrounding architecture. After the picture, Ellanora started to play with the knocker, until I quickly said “stop…this is someone’s house!”

Around noon we boarded the bus and headed for Carthage, and were soon wandering through the ruins of a city founded around 800 B.C.

Before we left Carthage, Grayson had the opportunity to do some haggling of his own, and is now the proud owner of some pricy Roman and Carthage coins (we’re pretty sure are fake, but cool). I felt a bit better about my own haggling after that…until another shop owner came up to us and informed me that I must not love my son if I wasn’t willing to spend another ten Euros on better coins…sorry Grayson, apparently even my love has it’s limits.

By the time we returned to the Tunisian port to board the ship, the rain and hail had started, and we made a dash for the gangway. We were soon eating a late afternoon snack and watching as the ship pulled away from the dock, headed back out to sea. After dinner, Joel went back to our room to read for school and Ellanora chose to do some drawing while Grayson and I went to the theater to watch “The Voice” at sea. It was one of Jill’s favorite shows on TV that I just couldn’t get into. This version had guests trying their hand at singing. We had some laughs, before heading back to the room for the night.

We woke in the night to a pretty intense thunderstorm at sea, but otherwise had some solid sleep, waking to the sunshine of Sicily.

Waking up yesterday morning was definitely a challenge, as I previously mentioned. The seas rocked us all night, making it difficult to sleep, and the kids struggled with nausea until they had some medicine. By the afternoon, both the seas and their stomachs had calmed, and we were able to enjoy the rest of the day together. Before I get too far ahead of myself, here are a few photos from our last morning in Barcelona, (complete with plenty of photos of our favorite part of Barcelona…the food) and our first hours on the ship:

It is impossible to avoid pastries and treats as you move through the Gothic District in Barcelona!

While we were grateful for the above chocolates from the chocolate museum (and my espresso!), they just weren’t as satisfying as breakfast!

Here are a few more photos from two days ago, including our first moments on the ship, and our first dinner on the ship:

Beef tartar anyone?

After lunch yesterday, we found the gelato shop on the ship. For some reason, gelato costs extra, but gelato frappes are part of our drink package. We all had gelato shakes before Ellanora, Joel and I did some people watching in one of the lounges and Grayson went back to the room for a siesta. As I mentioned yesterday, the boys did play some three-on-three basketball, and Joel’s team (Joel, a German and an Italian) beat Grayson’s team (a young French couple and Grayson), though there was some solid competition all around! It was fun to watch everyone work out the details in their own languages (especially the fouls!).

Ellanora and I soon wandered off, and found our way to “snack time,” on the ship, which was an instant hit with us both! Bread with Nutella, pastries, and of course, churros (with dipping sauce).

After snack time, we found our way to the arcade, then she turned me down when I asked her if she’d dance with me on one of the dance floors…of course, there was nobody else dancing, with a number of people sitting around the outside of the dance floor, so you can’t really blame her.

Dinner was another adventure of foods, followed by an evening show. By the time you read this, we’ll have spent the day in Tunis, Tunisia…(it was incredible!). More on that tomorrow.

It’s 2:45 on Tuesday afternoon and we’re just off the coast of Sardinia, Italy, moving southeast toward Tunisia, Africa. Typically I’m up before the kids to write of our previous day’s experiences, but this morning was a bit of a foggy morning. The seas are rough, and I spent much of the night awake, rocking back and forth. Also, I won’t be able to post photos until we arrive in Tunisia, so tomorrow I’ll do a photo-dump of yesterday’s and today’s photos.

Yesterday morning was another lazy morning, as we woke, packed, and I sipped on instant coffee in the room (that’s an offense, in a city with such great coffee, cappuccinos and cafe’ lattes as Barcelona). After we all showered and packed, we dropped our bags at the front desk around noon and left Grayson in the hotel restaurant to complete some schoolwork (which he was not thrilled about having to complete). I almost feel bad for the kids and the new tech available. They don’t have much ability to miss school work or deadlines with the internet. Joel’s got geography, literature and math to complete today. Anyway, Ellanora, Joel & I left Grayson behind and made our way to yet another bakery. Ellanora enjoyed a fresh mango smoothie, while Joel and I opted for more savory options, with a ham and cheese croissant to-go for Gray (and I ordered a cafe’ latte to redeem my morning).

After breakfast we wandered the streets around our hotel, stumbled on yet another beautiful church, and did some window shopping for possible souvenirs. After meeting back up with Grayson, the four of us made our way to the museum of chocolate (walking). With all the walking, I’ve had my ear chewed on a bit about tired legs, but we are enduring! The museum was fun, but probably not somewhere any of us would suggest to others. I had visions of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when we planned it, complete with tastings…it was a museum of the history of the cocoa bean, much as the name “Museum of Chocolate” suggests. We bought some chocolates at the end of the tour then headed back to the hotel to gather our luggage and catch a cab to the cruise terminal.

The excitement was palpable as we arrived at the ship and crossed the gangway. After seeing our room and moving through the safety drills, we did some exploring before dinner. As we walked by the basketball court, the boys were quickly invited into a pickup game. Ellanora and I watched as they figured out teams and plans with complete language barriers. It was two tall Gentrys, some Italians and Puerto Ricans. I loved seeing them all work out the details with hand signals, and then watching them engage in laughter and legit basketball regardless of the language barrier. There are very few native English speakers on the ship. The food, music, language, and crowds are distinctly Italian. We wanted to experience this Italian culture as we made our way around the Mediterranean, and between all the hand gestures and accentuated language, it’s again as if we’re in a movie. After their short pickup basketball game, we hustled to dress up for dinner, which did not disappoint. We tried beef tartar, sea bass, and wild boar. Unfortunately by the end of dinner, all three kids were a bit woozy as the rocking of the ship wasn’t settling well with them. Ellanora and Grayson recovered enough to join me for an evening show at the theater, but Joel was down, and stayed in bed until this morning.

Much to my chagrin, I caved by mid-morning and got each of them some motion sickness pills. I struggled with this decision, but they were all three struggling to eat breakfast, and were back in bed soon after (I’ve been on a few cruises in my life, and I’ve never seen the seas like this…I keep thinking of Paul in much smaller ships, and the two shipwrecks he endured on these very waters…I’m grateful for the size of our ship!). The pills have changed the day for all of them, and Ellanora and I are about to head up to the top deck to watch the boys in a scheduled basketball tournament. I think Jill would have approved of the motion sickness pills (albeit begrudgingly).

I have asked each of the kids if they think she can see us on this trip, or generally in life. I’ll keep their responses to myself, but needless to say, I’m grateful for the chance to talk about her with them. As for me, I think she can see us…and I think she sees us through eyes of deep love. We’re all talking about her with each other more than we have been. I wonder if it’s because we have so much uninterrupted time together. Maybe it’s because some time has passed and we’re more ready to talk…regardless, I’m grateful to see a bit into their hearts and to talk about her.

By dinnertime last night, fantastical ideas about living in Barcelona began percolating around the table. We continue to be caught up in the beauty of this place, from the people, to the architecture, to the romance that can capture anyone when traveling abroad. Barcelona feels different than the other cities we’ve seen around the world though. We often talk about where we’d go back to visit, which includes Mexican beaches, Canadian skiing, Costa Rican jungles, and Chang Mai (in northern Thailand), and there are a number of places that fall on the “one & done” list. Barcelona, however, is the first place weaving itself into some deeper space inside.

Even though the kids woke up between 8:30 & 9 yesterday morning, we didn’t actually leave our room until 11. We had three things on the agenda, and by the time we finished the day, we only accomplished two…which was great. I have always been an agenda/schedule driven guy. Not terribly rigid, but enough so that it could make Jill a bit crazy. She would let me know how much she appreciated not needing to worry about planning, but that it would benefit everyone in our family if I could just “chill out” a bit. We had a book displayed on our shelf at home that she treasured titled “The Art of Doing Nothing: Simple Ways to Make Time for Yourself” by Veronique Vienne. She was much better at creating sacred space for herself and those around her than I am. However, I am so grateful for the ways she taught me to slow down, allow space for the kids to slow down, and to give myself quiet time with my thoughts and feelings (I’ve been fighting that space for the last 4 months, but that’s another topic all together). I digress…back to yesterday morning. The kids wanted to lay in bed, read (and play a few iPhone games), so I picked up a book I borrowed from a friend that I’ve been reading, “The Brothers K” by David James Duncan, and settled in.

Hunger began tolling, and by 11, we were ready to make our way to a bakery just around the corner from our hotel. We had another great adventure attempting new foods , and figured I should try some new foods, so I ordered a Matcha Latte, which was a mistake…definitely not my cup of tea. After breakfast, we did a bit of wandering before jumping in a taxi so we could explore the castle at Mountjuic.

The gondola ride up to the top of Mountjuic is incredible, and we were quickly taken with the beauty of all of Barcelona. Grayson was struck by how different the city looks from our cities back home. You can see and feel the history from that perspective. At the top, we made our way past the street vendors and entered the castle. As we explored, we learned that the first parts of the castle were constructed in 1073. “How is that even possible?” “How did they get these stones stacked and the water pumped?” “Check out this well!” When we began to realize that the ground we were standing on had been defended by people on horses with swords, arrows and catapults, we were a bit awestruck. Ellanora was disappointed though, as she learned that the castle did not house kings and queens of the past, but it was a fortress for defending Barcelona…I don’t blame her!

We got a glimpse of the stadium that hosted the 1992 Barcelona Olympics before heading back down the Gondola and commencing to stroll (complete with some grumbling about more walking). It wasn’t far before we were in a neighborhood lacking many tourists, but full of life. We found our way to Carrer de Blai (Barcelona’s famous Tapas street).

Every shop is filled with Pintxos (think sliders made out of anything you can think of). Each item was around 2 Euros, and we had soon filled our plates with some familiar (and not so familiar) foods.

After lunch we made our way to another gelato spot, though I opted for more hot chocolate & churros, (because who can resist?). Ellanora wanted to be sure we took a picture of this advertisement:

We ended up at our hotel for a brief siesta before making our way to Flamenco Dancing. It was incredible, and we were soon all caught up in the music and emotion coming from the stage. The dancing was so intense, Ellanora was a bit concerned about the stage holding up as it flexed with each dance move.

We wrapped up our day with dinner on a plaza that included steak, potatoes & paella.

I think some of what makes this city so meaningful to us in such a short time has as much to do with the spiritual and emotional journey each of us is on as we redefine what our family looks like now that we are a family of 4, as it does the city itself. I would love to see my kids spend time on their own in a foreign place like this as they grow older. Until then, we’ll keep exploring and dreaming.

Today, we’ll make an attempt to do some laundry, visit the Museu de la Xocolata (chocolate museum) and dip our feet in the Mediterranean at the beach before boarding our cruise.

The energy was electric, and within minutes, all four of us could have been mistaken for lifelong FC Barcelona fans. We couldn’t help but be swept up with 45,000 other fans as we all chanted ¡Barça! ¡Barça! ¡Barça! Between the full choir leading the crowd in the FC Barcelona anthem, the fireworks from the pitch, and the 4-0 victory, it was as if we had been born with FC Barcelona pride…

I’m getting ahead of myself. Yesterday morning started out sluggish, as expected after our long travel and jet lag. There was quite a bit of motivation, however, after our Mediterranean seafood experience the evening before, and the gurgles of hollow stomachs could be heard from each of our bellies. We quickly dressed and were down in the hotel restaurant for food as soon as they began serving. Cheeses, meats, some type of hotdog/sausage, yogurts, pastries and seeded grapes (much to the dismay of Ellanora). In true Gentry-kid fashion, there was soon a $20 challenge placed before Ellanora. I had some Blue Cheese on my plate, and I love Blue Cheese, but this was full of flavor, and a couple bites was plenty for me. “$20 if you eat dad’s Blue Cheese Ellanora” was the bold challenge, and Joel had just thrown down the day’s first gauntlet. $20 is a lot of money, and Ellanora was now faced with a dilemma, but it wasn’t more than a few seconds before that cheese was in her hand, and she was looking it over closely, “wait! is this dark stuff mold???” We assured her that yes, it was indeed mold. After a few additional moments of hesitation, she moved the cheese to her mouth, and all four of us were immediately in stitches. I have to say, we are trying to show the world that Americans can be polite & respectful, but I’m failing miserably in this department when it comes to keeping our belly laughter to a minimum at restaurants.

Our plan for the morning had been to find a pastry shop in the Gothic District just outside our hotel, and, while we had satisfied our hunger with breakfast, we were not going to allow that to stop us from our pastry hunting. Imagine narrow European streets with shop windows filled with pastries, breads, gelato and espresso. It’s pretty impossible to not envision trying them all. While the streets are fairly quiet in Barcelona at 8:30 AM, we found plenty of options, and were soon enjoying a tapas-style tasting of some pretty delicious bites.

After the pastries we came across a church from 1600 that we explored. There’s something humbling about the architecture, the beauty, and the images in your mind of 425 years of people moving through that place. We then made our way to Parc Güell to explore works by the artist Antoni Gaudí. Now, our family hasn’t often been mistaken for art aficionados, but I could not pass up the chance to expose ourselves to some of the great art of the world. I’m certain the highlight of the day’s art adventure was the kid’s playground that all three of my kids found themselves on. Three of them taking turns on the teeter-totter and animal saddle on a spring, with the voice of their dad cautioning them…not unlike a decade ago, only my cautionary message this time was much more about how much they would have to pay when the toys broke. They played in the playground, they chased each other on the trails, we all laughed as the crowds of Saturday morning attempted to take photos of the sculptures while my kids attempted to photo-bomb everyone. It was magical. Maybe we haven’t found the right way to appreciate art yet, but Parc Güell will be a highlight for us all.

After our morning adventure, we were ready for some lunch, and a quick stop at a sports apparel store before making our way to the stadium for the start of the football (soccer) match. We soon found ourselves on the subway with thousands of other fans heading to the stadium. We all commented how it felt like that time in Seattle when the five of us happened to be headed downtown on the light-rail at the same moment that tens of thousands of pre-teen girls were headed to see Taylor Swift at Lumen Field, only this time, our clothing matched the crowd (and there were no trinket bracelets being swapped).

If you ever wondered “what do 45,000 Spaniards singing Sweet Caroline in unison sound like?”, you should find your way to an FC Barcelona match. It’s no Neil Diamond, but it takes no time before you’ll join in chanting “so good, so good, so good” just after singing “good times never seemed so good…”

This is the part of the blog where my joy is mixed with tears. Yes, I said joy. Jill’s last intention for our family was to fill our home with more joy, and that, to me, was a nearly impossible task. In reality, as we lived those last weeks with her as her body broke down, joy was the last thing on my mind. Yet she was determined to learn a dance routine to “A Million Dreams” from the movie “The Greatest Showman,” so the five of us could dance together in our living room. Last night, as I looked at my three favorite people, I felt joy. Jill was a soccer player from the time she was little, often playing on multiple teams at the same time. Unfortunately she married a guy who knows nothing about the sport. As Ted Lasso said “Heck, you could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football,” but last night, as we soaked up the atmosphere, and I had to lean toward Joel for insight into the game a number of times, I wanted so badly to share the moment with Jill. Her family was fully immersed in the sport she loved, and we were fully immersed in being together. I am confident the veil of heaven was thin enough that she got to experience it with us…and I got to experience joy.

We finished the day with dinner and some delicious gelato, and I couldn’t be more grateful for my time with them. As we enjoyed our gelato, I asked about everyone’s favorite part of the day. It was a resounding “FC Barcelona” response. I told them that my favorite part was being with them, and I was being fully transparent.

It’s 8:30 AM Sunday morning here in Barcelona and the kids are just waking up (it’s nice to be acclimating to the time change). By the time you read this, we’ll have explored a castle on Mountjuic, tasted chocolate at Museu de la Xocolata, and watched Flamenco dancing at an evening performance. I suspect we’ll also enjoy more gelato, pastries, and laughter too.